Just Biden my time...

I’d like to take the opportunity to personally congratulate Sen. Joe Biden on his selection as Sen. Barack Obama’s running mate for the 2008 Presidential election. I have to do so on my blog as my calls to Obama campaign headquarters were answered quite rudely by staffers there. If any of them are reading this, no, I do not make a habit of prank calling presidential campaigns and I have no direct affiliation to Dracula - although I count him among my good business contacts.

I’d also like to let my supporters know that my choice for Vice President will be made shortly as well. Those on the shortlist have been identified and contacted last week. Each has a stellar record of scary leadership and I’m confident they will make a tremendous addition to the campaign.

While I cannot divulge who is on that shortlist right now, I can confirm that Congressman Alfred “Freddy” Kruger is not among them. Freddy and I met earlier last week to discuss the future of America and were unable to meet eye-to-eye on many key issues. While I respect the work Mr. Kruger has done, his brand of cut throat politics make it seem like he is living in some sort of dream world.

I also can deny that Rep. Candy Mann is under consideration. I called him five times last week and he never appeared. I wish him the best.

Again, I’d like to make it very clear that my candidate has not been solidified and I welcome any other suggestions. The role of Vice President is not a glamorous one and whomever I chose must expect to work very hard. They also must expect to be content in the #2 position -- as I’m unable to be killed so assassination isn’t an option.

I will have more information as it becomes available. Congratulations though to Joe Biden and Barack Obama on their ticket. I look forward to finding positions for you both in my White House.

Stay scary America!

- Frank N. Stein